Two pints of bitter
Lagers off
I’ve gotta getta
Drying cloth
A brandy
And he
Wants a gin
And a glass
To put it in
What was that?
Beer’s not flat
We need more cash
As classes clash
One Taylor Walker
And more water
For your whisky
5 pound fifty
Who’s next
(I’m wrecked)
JB
You asked for three
and two wine
Quick find
The corkscrew
Yes? You
Want a Pernod
Perreau
Wine, red or white?
Your change IS right
Now one more tonic
Oh my God – I’m not bionic
Thrills
Spills
Bottled Pils
Is it sixth’s or thirds of gills
Bloody Mary
Bloody hell
You want some Worcester sauce as well
A spoon
(With you soon)
A lemon slice
And some ice
Where’s the knife
Is this life?
Or hell?
Was that the bell?
Now vodka’s empty
ten pound twenty
That glass is clean
It’s just come out the wash machine
Two whiskies, single and a double
as a way of life
That’s too much trouble
(written in Saudi in 1983 having worked at the Mermaid Theatre bar before going out there)
1982
Poems from Simon Maclaren 